


the best policy

by sinspiration



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (obviously it ends with them loving each other), (what do you take me for), Light Angst, M/M, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Shiro Wants Keith, even though they're together, i guess??, like a lot, like a whole lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 14:19:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinspiration/pseuds/sinspiration
Summary: The last thing Shiro wants is to push for something Keith isn’t ready for. Or didn’t really mean.Instead he stays quiet. He eagerly takes all the touches Keith offers, probably holds onto hugs for a little too long. Allows himself a hand on Keith’s shoulder or back and, sometimes, gives into the temptation to brush his fingers across the nape of Keith’s neck, feel the silky strands of his hair.It’s enough.





	the best policy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this tweet:](https://twitter.com/blobshiro/status/1112719832347217921) _shiro knows it's keith's first relationship and doesn't want to rush him and ruin everything so he never takes the lead and never kisses him first, keith gets more and more miserable until he tells shiro that he doesn't have to force himself and should have just turned keith down_
> 
> AND WELL
> 
> (if anyone has any suggestions on how to tag this nonsense please I'm all ears)

_I love you._

The words have echoed in Shiro’s head for months. A dream. A wish. A hope.

A memory.

But a lot can be said in the heat of the moment, and Keith has made it clear that he will do anything for Shiro.

He’s pretty sure that in other circumstances it’d be scary to have that sort of devotion. But it’s amazing to have it from Keith, who’s strong and fierce and beautiful, and who would never pick someone to follow that he felt was unworthy.

He thinks Shiro is worthy. So all Shiro can do is be honored and humbled and just as determined to be good for Keith.

But Keith also has a lot of hidden hurts. The last thing Shiro wants is to push for something Keith isn’t ready for. Or didn’t really mean. 

Instead he stays quiet. He eagerly takes all the touches Keith offers, probably holds onto hugs for a little too long. Allows himself a hand on Keith’s shoulder or back and, sometimes, gives into the temptation to brush his fingers across the nape of Keith’s neck, feel the silky strands of his hair.

It’s enough.

 

***

 

He’s ready for bed after a long day, trying to decide whether or not he feels up to reading another report or two before he turns in, when there’s a knock on his door. He heaves a sigh and goes to answer, because this late it’s probably important, which also might mean he’s about to be up a lot later than intended.

Keith is on the other side dressed in the loose pants he likes to sleep him and a baggy top, and he startles a little when the door slides open, as if he’s surprised that Shiro answered. Shiro takes one look at him and ushers him inside his room. Leads him to sit down on the bed, then settles next to him.

Keith looks tired, which makes sense; it was a long day for him too. But instead of trying to sleep, he’s in Shiro’s room, spine and shoulders stiff and upset. His lips are bitten red, and he worries his lower one between his teeth as Shiro watches.

“Do you want to talk?” Shiro asks, after a couple minutes of silence. Sometimes Keith doesn’t want to use words and just wants proximity. They’ve spent plenty of quiet evenings before, with Shiro working or reading and Keith curled up next to him. The display of trust has made Shiro dizzy. More so when Keith creeps forward in search of touch, which Shiro will give for as long and as often as Keith is willing to take. _I love you._

Now though, Keith takes a breath and lets it out and when his shoulders don’t lose any of their tension, Shiro shifts just a little bit closer. Offering, if Keith wants it.

Keith immediately curls into him. Shiro settles his arm around him and pulls him in. _I love you I love you I love you._

“I had a bad dream,” Keith says eventually.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith says at once. Then, quieter, “No. I–” he stops.

Shiro squeezes him, encouraging.

“Sometimes I lose you. In my dreams. But in this one I was the one who died.” Shiro’s heart leaps into his throat. “And I woke up and it kept running through my mind, that our lives are dangerous, and I don’t--I _don’t_ know how long I’ll be around, even if I hope it’s for a long time and I… I wanted to make sure I said it. That you know. Because I told you once, but it wasn’t… great timing and I don’t even know if you remember, and I’m not expecting anything and nothing has to change but I just. I love you. I want you to know that.”

He makes to pull away, as if his confession has somehow made Shiro want distance, when all Shiro wants to do is take his mouth, press him down to the bed, whisper his own feelings against Keith’s skin.

Too much.

Instead he tightens his arm around Keith, reaches for Keith’s hand with his free one. Threads their fingers together. “I love you too,” he says, letting his happiness infuse every word. “God, Keith, I love you so much.”

Keith tilts his face up, expression a mixture of hope and disbelief and want. “Yeah?”

Shiro desperately wants to kiss him, but he doesn’t know how much Keith wants or is ready for. He contents himself with bringing their intertwined hands to his mouth to kiss Keith’s knuckles, smiling against them as Keith shudders.

Keith licks his lips. “Can I kiss you?”

Permission granted, Shiro pulls him even closer and revels in the taste of Keith’s mouth.

 

***

 

It’s hard to reign himself in. All Shiro wants to do is touch Keith constantly, pull him into corners to kiss him, invite him into his bed. He wants to tease, coax Keith into play, roll around on the sparring mat and let things turn heated. Provide in all ways, learn more intimate things, make him arch in pleasure.

But above all, Shiro wants Keith to be comfortable. He knows Keith never seems to know how to react to public affection, so Shiro forces himself to keep his distance unless Keith takes the first step forward. He doesn’t want to coerce Keith into intimacy if Keith doesn’t feel like it, so he waits for Keith to make the first move. He jumps at every chance Keith offers, but tries not to seem too eager in order to lower the pressure Keith might feel to make Shiro happy.

He wants so much, but for Keith he will be calm.

_Too much_

He’ll be patient.

_Too much_

Every move is Keith’s to make, every ball is in Keith’s court. Because if given the chance, Shiro would hold Keith’s hand forever, smile as bright as he wants to, tell Keith in every breath how much Shiro loves him and desires him and cherishes him.

He’d kiss Keith in front of everyone, dreams of leaving visible marks where anyone could see. He wants to make sure the whole universe knows who Keith belongs to.

_Too much too much too much_

 

***

 

“Morning,” Shiro says, when he meets Keith for breakfast. As usual, he wants to lean down and take a kiss to start the day. As usual he pushes that want down, though he lets his body stay loose and easy, open for Keith if he wants to reach for him.

“Morning.” Keith smiles up at him, his gaze flicking to Shiro’s mouth, then back up to meet his eyes. Shiro knows his own grin grows brighter as his body hums with anticipation, fingers itching to cup Keith’s face and pull in him, but Keith doesn’t move. Instead he bites his lip, eyes averting. Hesitant then, today.

He’s been more hesitant lately, and Shiro only hopes Keith never finds out just how much Shiro wants. It’s both a fantastic trait and a personal failing that when Shiro makes up his mind about something, he pursues it with everything he has. With Keith he wants to be fierce and protective, but he also wants to devour.

Keith is just finding his footing in his very first relationship, and Shiro knows he can be a force to be reckoned with. It made him the best pilot on Earth. It made him Champion. It made him a leader, a diplomat, a survivor. Somehow it also made him someone Keith loves--someone Keith is all too willing to say yes to.

Keith deserves the universe, and deserves the chance to figure out exactly what he wants at his own pace without Shiro pushing him in a direction he might not want to go. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith says. He smiles again, but it’s dimmer. “Yeah, fine. Come on, I’m starving.”

 

***

 

When Shiro comes back from a long mission, Keith kisses him in greeting and Shiro lets himself cling, re-memorizing the smell and feel and taste of him. He pulls back before he can get too greedy.

“Hey,” he murmurs. Keith always pulls out his gentlest smiles.

“Welcome back.” Keith grabs his hand and starts to walk. “Come on, you must be exhausted. Let’s get you taken care of.”

God, Shiro wants nothing more. He wants a meal that isn’t packaged rations, a hot shower, and Keith in his lap, not necessarily in that order. But a shower is definitely a good start, he decides, when Keith leads him to it.

Half an hour later and he’s clean, wearing a pair of sweatpants, and just about finished with the mac and cheese Keith had presented to him with a grin. All he wants now is to curl up with Keith in bed, spend some time running his hands over Keith’s skin. Remind himself that he can give pleasure and not just dole out pain.

But they haven’t gotten that far yet, and post a stressful mission probably isn’t the best time to experiment.

Instead he leads Keith to the couch and takes a seat, tugging Keith down next to him. Curls an arm around Keith’s shoulders, because he knows that, at least, is almost always allowed.

“Missed you,” he says. He wants to press a kiss to Keith’s hair. His ear. His neck.

“That’s my line,” Keith says, lips quirked. He’s got his face tilted up, body angled in, and with anyone else, Shiro would take it as an open invitation to close the distance.

With Keith he forces himself to wait, and the moment stretches and Keith doesn’t move. So Shiro doesn’t either.

 

***

 

They’re no stranger to spending time in each others’ rooms, but some nights Keith invites Shiro closer. He lets Shiro take and take and take, giving up beautiful sounds, exquisite shudders. It almost hurts to wrench himself away each time, to keep from asking for even more, but not pushing has become Shiro’s mantra.

Keith grinds down in his lap before freezing. “Sorry,” he stutters out. “Sorry, I didn’t–”

“It’s okay,” Shiro assures him. “God, Keith–” He trails an experimental hand down Keith’s side, stilling immediately when Keith freezes under his touch. Not ready.

“I–” Keith’s eyes are wide, tracking fast. “Do you–”

Keith isn’t ready, and Shiro would die to protect Keith’s ability to say no. As it is, it’s easy to give Keith an out. “It’s probably time for me to turn in,” he says, stroking Keith’s hair.

“Oh,” Keith says quietly. “Yeah, okay. Good idea. We should probably get some sleep.”

 _Together,_ Shiro doesn’t say as Keith climbs off of him. _Let me sleep with you. Let me hold you. Let me wake up to you in my arms._ “Yeah.” He presses one last kiss to the corner of Keith’s mouth. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.”

“You too.”

Once in his own bed, Shiro flings his left arm over his face as he takes himself in hand and thinks of Keith’s kiss-swollen lips and the taste of his mouth, his breathy little whimpers and moans. His beautiful body, and Shiro knows now, what it feels like against his, Keith’s warmth and strength and surrender. His _trust._

When he’s done, panting loudly in the quiet of his room, Shiro curls into a ball under his covers.

_If I can have just this. Just this, just him, I’ll be happy._

_Please don’t let me ruin it._

 

***

 

“You don’t have to,” Keith says dully. He’s tucked up into himself, pressed into the far end of the couch. The distance between them is a chasm’s gape, and Shiro desperately wants to bridge it.

“Don’t have to what?” he asks carefully. He reaches then, to offer the comfort he knows helps, that Keith readily accepts. Keith flinches back. Shiro freezes, ice cold. “Keith?”

“That. You don’t have to--pretend. To want me.”

Shiro can’t breathe. “What?”

Keith stares at the floor. “You won’t kiss me unless I ask. You won’t cuddle unless I practically crawl into your lap. You-you barely touch me now unless I push for it.” Keith’s voice cracks and Shiro _aches._ “And it hurts, okay? It hurts. Way more than it would have if you’d just turned me down. And at first I thought it’d be okay, that at least I’d get to have you, but not like this. Not if you’re trying to go through the motions but don’t mean it.”

What? No. What? “Keith, I-I love you.”

Keith smiles then, soft and sad. “I know, Shiro. I know you do. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But you don’t have to force yourself to do more. Not to make me happy. It’s okay. I’d be happier if you didn’t. If you were just, you know.” He swallows. “Honest about how you really feel.”

The words stun him. Shiro…

Shiro has _fucked up._

“Okay,” he says, blood rushing in his ears. How did he mess up so badly? He did he even for a _second_ allow Keith to feel unwanted? “Honest. I can do that.”

Keith licks his lips and nods, resigned.

“You’re the most beautiful person in the universe,” Shiro says. There. That’s a good place to start. And he’s gratified that it gets Keith to look back up at him, even if he’s clearly startled. “You’re the strongest person I know, and your skill--god, you’re amazing to watch. In everything you do you put all of yourself into it, you’ve got a fierce sense of justice, and I--I wish I were as brave as you are, sometimes.” Shiro scoots a little closer to Keith. “How much you’ve grown and learned is incredible. What you do every day, in the name of what’s good and right--I know how much you struggle with yourself and still you’re... I wish you knew how good you are.”

Keith’s eyes are getting rounder and rounder. Shiro keeps talking, because now he’s allowed to. Keith wanted honesty. “If I were more poetic I’d probably go on about how gorgeous your eyes are, but mostly I love them because they’re windows to your soul. You don’t lie. You tell every truth with your entire body, and you believe only in what you think is right.” Shiro reaches out and takes Keith’s hand. “And you believe in me.”

A sharp intake of breath. “Shiro…”

“Superficially? You’re the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I love how you fit against me. I love _feeling_ you against me. I am so, so in love with you.” Shiro presses closer, until he’s crowding Keith back into his corner on the couch, and then he leans in even more, lips barely brushing Keith’s ear. “And I’ve been wanting to wreck you for months.”

Keith gasps and Shiro tastes the sound, arms coming to wind around Keith and crush their bodies together as he takes Keith’s mouth. He registers the whimper Keith makes as his hands come to fist in Shiro’s shirt and Shiro pours everything into the kiss, all his love and desire, and his head is spinning with the knowledge that Keith is only pushing closer, asking for more in every way he can.

Shiro has been _so fucking stupid_ but he will berate himself later, because right now his single-minded purpose is to show Keith just how honest he can be.

 

***

 

Shiro hums happily and dips down to nose at the bruise on Keith’s neck, smiling against Keith’s skin before sucking it into his mouth again. It’s still probably tender from last night, but Keith moans at the treatment, which is all the encouragement Shiro needs to make absolute sure the mark is a bright, vivid purple.

Keith lets out a breathless laugh as he runs his fingers over Shiro’s short hair. “Don’t want there to be any doubts, huh?”

“Exactly.” Shiro shifts to kiss the corner of Keith’s mouth. “I want the whole universe to know you’re mine.” He loves being honest. “Want everyone to stare at me and burn with envy, because they know I’m the luckiest man alive, getting to have you.”

“God, Shiro–”

 _I love you I love you I love you_ Shiro pulls back just slightly. Enough to give Keith the barest bit of breathing room. It also gives Shiro the opportunity to take him in, a vision in his bed, hair spilled messily across Shiro’s pillow. “Too much?”

It’s said with a grin and as a tease. Keith has always responded well to praise but last night Shiro learned how to use it to make Keith squirm in the most delicious way. Now Keith’s sporting a bright blush high on his cheeks, incredibly endearing. Another positive to honesty; Shiro isn’t about to run out of ways to tell Keith how good he is.

Keith shakes his head. Breathes, “Again?”

Again, and again, and again.

Yes.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [@justsayins](https://twitter.com/justsayins) on Twitter. Come say hi! (and yell about sheith with me)


End file.
